Freeloading sister refuses to adjust to off-the-grid new home: ‘Worried for these children’

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

I've always wanted to live "off the grid." The way I live now is so "on the grid" it's nuts. There is something beautifully romantic about imagining a cottage in a far-off pasture, growing your own vegetables, making bread, and not having to go on the internet. You could just read books all day, attend to the chores, and enjoy nature. It's the dream of the cottage core aesthetic, and I'm not immune to it. I know that a lot of it is less glamorous than it's cracked up to be, but it's nice to dream. 

The idea of it certainly gets more complicated when you involve unwilling relatives. If you're going to live that life, you have to fully choose it. Any resistance to the lifestyle is just going to get in everyone's way. That's exactly what happened in this recent story from Reddit about a family member who found herself in a situation she wasn't too happy about. Read on. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Emergency-Opinion732 • 4h AITA for telling my sister that if she doesn't like the living conditions of my place, she should leave?
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 02
    She's technically my step sister, but we're basically sisters and I treat her like one. I (29F) live on a tiny farm off the grid in the middle of nowhere. The only livable building on the farm is a small trailer and there's no power (I have to use the generator) or plumbing. I have 2 kids, 8M and 6F. Their father isn't in the picture and won't be until end of fall 2032. I'm fine with the lack of basic necessities as I live off the land and I don't need much in general. My kids are homeschooled a
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 03
    Recently my sister (33F) got divorced and evicted from her ex's place. She has 3 kids, 5M twins and a 3F. She had nowhere to go and I invited her to live with me.
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 04
    Not even a week had passed and she started complaining about having to use the outhouse, lack of water (we have a well with a pump and a propane heater that is small, so not really accommodating for a large family) and the fact that the drinkable water had to be carried from another well in buckets. She also complained that we live far away from any civilization (the nearest hospital is 20 miles away) and if anything happens there's a chance we won't be able to get there on time. Her biggest com
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 05
    I told her that if she's dissatisfied with the way I live, she's free to leave. I'm not locking her up to be my slave around the farm, I provided her with free housing and food. She said that I'm trying to use her children for child labor and that I'm endangering her life. We had a nasty verbal fight that ended up with us exchanging some really unsavory words and now she's still sulking. I'm wondering whether I'm the in this situation.
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 06
    Ok_Conversation9750 • 4h Pooperintendant [56] NTA. She asked to stay with you. Was she not aware of where/how you live?
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 07
    Emergency-Opinion732 OP. 4h She was aware, I've been living here since my bio dad passed away a decade ago and I inherited the property.
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 08
    Ok_Conversation9750 • 4h Pooperintendant [56] Lol I sort of meant that as a rhetorical question. I guess she expected you to build her a house with electrical and plumbing all installed as a guest accommodation?!?
    via u/Ok_Conversation9750
  • 09
    catskilkid 4h • Pooperintendant [60] NTA 1. She was evicted and had no where to go with 3 small children AND had nowhere to go. So that means she knew how you lived and agreed to move out to the farm BECAUSE she had no other option. 2. She complains about the conditions and thinks its endangering her life. WHY IS SHE STILL THERE? Because you identified the problem..... She has nowhere to go. She needs to get a better attitude or move. She can try and get child support from EX or see about the ch
    via u/catskilkid
  • 10
    devsfan1830 • 3h Partassipant [1] Seriously. did she expect, for OP to somehow manifest a power grid, plumbing AND build a new house for her?! The entitlement..... Living like OP isn't my cup of tea, but if it was my ONLY option I wouldn't sit there an like that. I'd contribute while I looked for an alternative myself if it came to that.
    via u/devsfan1830
  • 11
    Icy_Sky_7521 • 4h Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] Their father isn't in the picture and won't be until end of fall 2032. What's he in for?
    via u/Icy_Sky_7521
  • 12
    Emergency-Opinion732 OP • 4h A bunch of stuff that isn't related to the conflict
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 13
    lamIrene 4h • She said that I'm trying to use her children for child labor and that I'm endangering her life. LOL, no you're not. And as you pointed out, she's free to leave whenever she wants to. People who have never experienced discomfort are usually the loudest in their complaints. NTA.
    via u/lamIrene
  • 14
    GoNoMu 3h • Worried for these children lol
    via u/GoNoMu
  • 15
    MapleTheUnicorn • 4h Partassipant [2] Uhm...you "live off the land" and don't have electricity or plumbing but you have internet?
    via u/MapleTheUnicorn
  • 16
    Emergency-Opinion732 OP. 3h I have connection lol, I live in a place with no central power/plumbing, not in 1883.
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 17
    • MapleTheUnicorn ⚫ 3h Partassipant [2] Lol sorry, wasn't trying to be rude, I'm just not educated on living off the grid in the modern age.
    via u/MapleTheUnicorn
  • 18
    Emergency-Opinion732 OP. 3h No problem haha, I'll tell you more my kids have this weird device with a large screen that shows various pictures and makes different sounds, I'm fairly certain the civilized part of the world calls this peculiar thing "an IPad". And I had a stranger dressed in white come and inject them with a specific substance that was said to protect them from pox and measles.
    via u/Emergency-Opinion732
  • 19
    Cleveland Womble • 4h Partassipant [4] She said that I'm trying to use her children for child labor and that I'm endangering her life. Then tell her to put on her big-girl pants and support her kids and herself. Otherwise shut up and contribute. NTA unless you let her stay and make your life a misery with her J
    via u/ClevelandWomble
  • 20
    NTA. Plushies_n_Poison • 4h Partassipant [1] Have you brought up the fact that you need help with the labor because suddenly there are 4 extra people to take care of, that are going to require more than double the amount of water you typically use and therefor have to transport? That lifestyle isn't for everyone, and it's a shock if you've never lived off the grid or even been camping before. It could be she simply doesn't understand that it's not like living on grid where you turn a tap and bam
    via u/Plushies_n_Poison

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ask reddit family drama aita freeloader sisters reddit story am i the asshole parenting homeschool sister subreddit reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail off the grid
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